


How Come You Don't Want Me

by BlaiddDrwg1982



Series: This is the Soundtrack of Our Life [27]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek Has Feelings, Derek Uses His Words, Derek can sing, F/M, Just 20 Somethings, M/M, Not Werewolves, Stiles is Over It, That Damn Radio, Well Actually It's Karaoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:45:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12037146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlaiddDrwg1982/pseuds/BlaiddDrwg1982
Summary: Derek Hale is sorting himself out, keeping secrets and telling lies. An unfortunate victim makes their feelings known, and Derek is left facing hard truths. In musical format!





	1. How Come You Don't Want Me.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the respective properties used in this story. Made it non-wolfy Teen Wolf, but their personalities all came through more or less in tact. The song is borrowed from a lovely duo.
> 
> Song Title: How Come You Don't Want Me  
> Artists: Tegan and Sara
> 
> Please don't sue. I'm poor.

~~Now~~

"Come ON Stiles. You've been moping around ever since you and whats his name broke up. Three weeks man. Not healthy. Come on. Everyone's getting together and we're going to do really bad karaoke and get absolutely wasted."

Stiles looked up from the couch with what was rapidly becoming his trademark scowl. He'd been seeing someone. In secret. Which should have been the first clue that it was a bad idea. 

'If they don't want to be seen in public with you, they really aren't with you.' 

Damn Lydia and her sage advice. 

"Derek's coming. He wants us to meet his girlfriend."

Stiles scowl got a little deeper, not that Scott noticed. He never seemed to notice the subtle things. But. He did at least acknowledge that Stiles wasn't his usual self of late. 

Sighing and wincing, he added, "I'll let you drink Red Bull and I'll buy your beer."

It was no sooner that Scott said 'Red Bull' that Stiles was on his feet, jacket in hand and hand on the door knob.

"You coming?"

Smiling a wide grin at the promise of energy drinks and free liquor, he was out the door and ready to get his karaoke on.

***

"The selection isn't too bad. I think I might actually regale the bar with a couple different songs."

Stiles was flipping through the song books at a mile a minute, the first energy drink done and finished within seconds of arriving. Lydia and Jordan were debating the finer points of whiskey versus scotch, while both drinking gin and tonics. Scott was regretting offering the Red Bull, and was nursing his beer. The only saving grace about Stiles singing was that...he was actually pretty good. He'd never go professional by any means, but he was the "odd man out" at these things in that he could carry a tune and had an encyclopaedic memory for music.

Looking up as the door closed, Derek walked in with his current flavour of the weak girlfriend draped on his arms. 

"Everyone I'd like you to meet..."

"Braeden. I know. She lives down the street from me and Scott." 

Stiles reaction was dead panned, and barely registered any emotion. Getting up, he went to the host to put his name and selection down.

"Uh...yeah. Braeden, this is Scott, I guess you know Stiles? Lydia and Jordan over there and Boyd and Erica are shooting pool just by the windows. Did you want something to drink?"

"Just a beer please. And hi everyone. Thanks for inviting me."

Before anyone could reply, the music started up. An up tempo song with a bit of synth underneath it all. Stiles stood on the stage, microphone clutched in his hand. 

Closing his eyes, he started to sing.

_I can't say that I'm sorry_  
_For getting so ahead of myself_  
_I can't say that I'm sorry_  
_For loving you and hating myself_

_I had nothing to show you_  
_I had nothing to hold you down_

A pause of two beats, then his eyes shot open. 

_It's killing me to walk away_

~~Then~~

Laying in bed, riding the afterglow for a few moments longer, Stiles slowly rolled over with a dazed look on his face. 

"You should be arrested, being that talented. I think my heart almost stopped."

There was a rustling of blankets when a head of dark hair made it's appearance. Derek gave him a cheeky grin before collapsing on his pillow.

"That wouldn't be good. How would I explain why you were naked in my bed?"

Stiles went still at that.

"We could try telling people the truth. That we're..."

"We're what Stiles? I mean...I'm just not ready. I don't want to be rushed."

Stiles sighed.

"I know. You know what. Never mind. Forget I said anything."

Rolling out of bed, the afterglow fully diminished, he dressed hastily and went out the back way. Like always. Like someone's dirty little secret.

~~Now~~

_How come you don't want me now?_  
_Why don't you want to wait this out?_  
_How come you always lead me on,_  
_Never take my call, hear me out?_  
_Why don't you want to win me now?_  
_Why don't you want to show me off?_  
_Tell me why you couldn't try,_  
_Couldn't try and keep me here_

Closing his eyes, he remembered seeing Derek walking down the road, obviously on a mission. In about fifteen feet, the mission became obvious. Braeden came strolling down her front walk and greeted him with a kiss that would make a porn star blush.

_I see you by my house_  
_Walking with a different girl_  
_I see you by my house_  
_Talking with a different girl_

~~Then~~

"I'm not ready to tell people I'm..."

Stiles stopped stirring the pot of soup.

"You're not even ready to tell yourself that you're..."

"Don't."

"Gay. Or bi. Or like the D. I don't know Derek."

Setting the spoon down.  
"I saw you. Yesterday. Just...never mind. Keep stirring it all the way to the bottom so nothing burns. Tell Cora I said hi."

Grabbing his jacket, he was out the door before Derek could even think.

~~Now~~

_She's got nothing to show you_  
_She's got nothing to hold you down_  
_You're killing me to walk away_

Derek looked up at the stage at how the lights played across Stiles face. There was pain there. Pain he'd caused. Pain he knew he was responsible for. The sip of beer he'd already had sitting like lead in his stomach. 

It wasn't a tryst for Stiles. And he was still trying to convince himself it was only a tryst for himself.

_How come you don't want me now?_  
_Why don't you want to wait this out?_  
_How come you always lead me on,_  
_Never take my call, hear me out?_  
_Why don't you want to win me now?_  
_Why don't you want to show me off?_

He'd been cruel.

_Tell me why you're gonna try_  
_Gonna try and leave me here?_

Stiles opened his eyes again, this time not even trying to avoid Derek's eyes. He didn't care if he blew Derek's cover anymore. He'd tried to be the bigger person. Giving Derek the space to find himself. Kept it secret. Let it kill him more and more inside every day they spent together every time they touched every time they kissed.

_One day soon_  
_I won't be the one who waits for you_  
_Someday soon_  
_I won't be the one who waits for you_

Braeden caught the look the Stiles was giving Derek, and the broken look that Derek was giving Stiles.

"On second thought. I have early class tomorrow and I SO am not needed here. Have a good...yeah."

With that she made haste for the exit, looking back only in sympathy at Stiles...and anger at Derek.

_How come you don't want me now?_

Derek barely registered Braeden's departure.

_How come you always lead me on,_  
_Never take my call, hear me out?_

_Why don't you want to win me now?_

This was a challenge now. A very public challenge.

_Tell me why you couldn't try,_  
_Couldn't try and keep me here_  
_How come you don't want me now?_  
_Why don't you want to wait this out?_  
_How come you always lead me on_  
_Never take my call, hear me out?_  
_Why don't you want to win me now?_  
_Why don't you want to show me off?_  
_Tell me why you couldn't try,_  
_Couldn't try and keep me here_

Slow understanding crossed the bar's patrons face. This wasn't just someone singing a heartfelt pain filled upbeat pop song at Karaoke night. This was someone with a grudge and dirty laundry that needed airing.

Hopping off the stage, mic in hand, Stiles crossed the floor as far as the cord would let him go.

_How come you don't want me now?_  
_Why don't you want to wait this out?_  
_How come you always lead me on_  
_Never take my call, hear me out?_

Derek crossed the floor and met him half way.

_Why don't you want to win me now?_  
_Why don't you want to show me off?_  
_Tell me why you couldn't try,_  
_Couldn't try and keep me here?_

As the song faded out Stiles took the mic back to the stage, finished his beer, and slammed out the door into the cool night air. Derek in hot pursuit.  
"Stiles! Wait!"

The beanpole man walked ahead, moving faster in spite of wanting to turn around and face Derek.

"Stiles! I'm sorry."

Pulling to a complete stop, he turned on his heel and advanced on Derek like a lion on a zebra.

"Save it. Okay? Save it. You have go SO much of your shit to work through that...you know what. No."

Poking Derek's chest with his pointy pointy finger.

"You used me. And you used Braeden. And to think I was pissed off at her. But it's you Derek. It's you. Sort. Your. Shit. OUT."

With that he turned around and disappeared into the night, leaving a gobsmacked Derek in the middle of the sidewalk, holding two beer, and not knowing what way was up.


	2. Take Me To Church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song: Take Me To Church  
> Artist: Hozier
> 
> BUT
> 
> I was listening to the Demi Lovato version while writing this. I like the original, but for some reason I like the thought of the Demi version of it being sung in a rich baritone voice. 
> 
> Check notes at end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place 1 year after "How Come You Don't Want Me."

“Come on Scott. We said we’d go so we’re going. More to the point, YOU said we’d go so we’re going. Besides. Finals are done, we’re free from school FINALLY for winter break, and it’d be nice to see the whole gang. Lydia flew in this morning.”

Scott groaned, reluctantly getting to his feet.

“You’re not just eager because Derek said he’d be there? What is going on with you two. You call him out last year at karaoke, and then what? I’ve lost track.”

Stiles sighs. Yeah. Last year was not a great place for him. He’d been seeing Derek on the down low, but got sick of being treated like Option 2 and like a shameful secret. So. He called Derek out. In musical format no less, because his life was a freaking Disney movie it would seem. 

“We’re cool. Just friends. He’s been working through his monumental levels of bullshit and…I dunno. He’s changed. He’s actually nice. He said he really wants everyone to come out tonight. He’s been working really hard on this song he wants to do and is pretty sure the public humiliation will be worse without friends to get him stinking drunk after he tanks it. He’s changed.”

“He’s apologized?”

Stiles nods his head. 

“He’s apologized. I wouldn’t be talking to him otherwise.”

Scott scuffed his shoes on, apparently satisfied at that answer. Stiles had been less than a joy to live with after that incident for quite some time. The song was amazing though. 

Making the short trip to the karaoke lounge, when they arrived the place was half full, which was normal. Moving over to the largest booths the place offered, Scott slid in, leaving Stiles on the outside in case he was so inclined to go up and sing. The pitcher of beer was already on the table, and glasses passed around. Pouring himself one, he tilted his glass in greeting to Derek who was sitting across from him, but wrapped up in conversation with Lydia about the theorem she was submitting for consideration for the Fields Medal.

After a few more drinks all around, Derek got up and threw his name on the board, looking more than a little bit nervous about the prospect. Moving back over to the table, he slid in beside Stiles, looking a little tipsy, but still in full control of his faculties.

“Thanks for coming tonight. I really appreciate it…even if you can sing laps around me when you have laryngitis.”

Stiles nodded his head, feeling very relaxed courtesy of the alcohol.

“You’re my friend Derek. You asked. I came.”

Derek nodded and got to his feet. Clenching his fists, he turned to Stiles.

“Can you come with me?”

“Nervous?”

“Terrified. Worse than coming out to Peter.”

Peter had been understanding. Peter had been beyond accepting. Peter also broke into Derek’s apartment and decorated it by covering almost every surface with suction cupped based sex toys. There was still a butt plug super glued to the corner in the living room, but the design of it allowed for Derek to put up a hanging plant so…it was progress.

Sighing, Stiles got to his feet and somewhat reluctantly got to his feet. He didn’t know what Derek was going to be singing, but if he needed to jump in he was pretty confident he’d be fine. 

Following Derek up on stage, he looked in curiosity at the chair that was sitting there. Looking over at Derek, his eyes momentarily went wide when he realized that Derek was…utterly calm and collected. Watching as Derek indicated the chair, Stiles narrowed his eyes. He didn’t much care for surprises.

Chewing his thumbnail he felt a moment of apprehension as Derek started to talk before the song.

“Last year I came here with bad intentions and personal stupidity. I offended one person who had nothing to do with the situation, and another person who didn’t deserve it either. Luckily, they both seem to have forgiven me.”

Looking back at Stiles, he nods for the music to start. 

_My lover's got humour_  
_He's the giggle at a funeral_  
_Knows everybody's disapproval_  
_I should've worshipped him sooner_

Derek’s voice was low and strong, working along with the bass in the music, capturing the melody and doing beautiful things to it with his tongue. Moving back towards Stiles, he slid behind the chair, and rested his hand on Stiles’ shoulder. Resting his forehead on the top of Stiles head, Stiles looked up a little in confusion. 

_If the heavens ever did speak_  
_He's the last true mouthpiece_  
_Every Sunday's getting more bleak_  
_A fresh poison each week_

_"We were born sick," you heard them say it_

Standing back up, Derek moves to the side of the chair, tracing Stiles’ jaw with one of his knuckles. Smiling down at the younger man, the lights made their eyes twinkle.

_My church offers no absolutes_  
_He tells me, "Worship in the bedroom.”_  
_The only heaven I'll be sent to_  
_Is when I'm alone with you_

Gracefully Derek falls to his knees, staying up tall though, he rests his forehead on Stiles’ thigh.

_I was born sick_  
_But I love it_  
_Command me to be well_  
_Aaay. Amen. Amen. Amen._

Dropping back and sitting on his heels, he launches into the chorus.

_Take me to church_  
_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_  
_I'll tell you my sins_

He pounds his chest forcefully.

_And you can sharpen your knife_  
_Offer me that deathless death_  
_Good God, let me give you my life_

Wrapping his arm around Stiles’ leg like a lifeline, he rocks back on his ankles.

_Take me to church_  
_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_  
_I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_  
_Offer me that deathless death_  
_Good God, let me give you my life_

Standing back up, he moves just forward of Stiles, who was slowly starting to understand what Derek was doing. Feeling more than a little self conscious, he tries to relax. This is what Derek was talking about. Why he was really hoping Stiles would be able to make it. Looking out to the crowd, he saw all his friends sitting there, eagerly watching his reaction. Casting a glare at Scott who had the sense to at least look a little ashamed. They were all in on it. 

_If I'm a pagan of the good times_  
_My lover's the sunlight_  
_To keep the Goddess on my side_  
_She demands a sacrifice_

Derek glided across the stage. The rational logical part of Stiles would later note that it was actually quite artistic and natural looking. Which was odd given that Derek was a pretty muscular guy.

_Drain the whole sea_  
_Get something shiny_

He pounded his chest with each word to emphasize.

_Something meaty for the main course_

Getting on his knees in front of Stiles, he looked up at the other man, singing with passion and force. 

_That's a fine-looking high horse_  
_What you got in the stable?_  
_We've a lot of starving faithful_

Reaching out, he caressed Stiles face.

_That looks tasty_  
_That looks plenty_  
_This is hungry work_

Crunching down as though he were worshipping at Stiles’ feet.

_Take me to church_  
_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_  
_I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_

Derek pulls his collar down as though offering his heart to Stiles. 

_Offer me that deathless death_  
_Good God, let me give you my life_

Stiles looked down at Derek, registering there was a raw edge to what he was singing. To what he was doing on stage. He didn’t care if he made himself look like a fool on stage. This was a private performance. There just happened to be a whole lot of witnesses.

_Take me to church_  
_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_  
_I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife_  
_Offer me my deathless death_  
_Good God, let me give you my life_

Derek got to his feet and offered a hand to Stiles…who actually took it. This was important to Derek, so he would let him lead.

For now.

Letting himself get pulled into a one armed dance, he felt Derek’s heart pounding wildly against his chest. He couldn’t suppress the shiver as Derek moved in closer and sang just for him…though the microphone was right there.

 _No Masters or Kings_  
_When the Ritual begins_  
_There is no sweeter innocence than our_

He shivered when Derek ran his thumb across Stiles’ lips.

_Gentle sin_

As Derek stepped back, he ran his finger tips down Stiles’ arm, stopping the motion as he held Stiles’ hand. 

Derek knelt down on one knee.

_In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene_

Derek fully knelt on both knees.

_Only then I am human_

Derek cupped his own cheek in Stiles’ hand.

_Only then I am clean_

Looking up at Stiles through his eyelashes he smiled.

_Ooh oh. Amen. Amen. Amen._

_Take me to church_  
_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_  
_I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_  
_Offer me that deathless death_  
_Good God, let me give you my life_

_Take me to church_  
_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_  
_I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_  
_Offer me that deathless death_  
_Good God, let me give you my life_

As the music faded to nothing, Derek got to his feet, and said a quick thanks to the microphone.

Hopping off the stage, Derek went back to the table, where everyone was giving him an enthusiastic round of applause. It took guts to get up there and do that. It didn’t hurt he wasn’t too bad. But it was hours and hours of practise.

Stiles eventually made his way back over to the table. Everyone looked at him, more than a little nervous. He poured himself a glass of beer and drained it like it was water. Pouring himself another one, he drained about half of it. Looking at everyone who was gathered, and who was looking at him expectantly.

“How long.”

“Uhh…what do you mean.”

Glaring at Scott.

“I will never bake you brownies ag-“

“7 months. We’ve been working on it with Derek for 7 months.”

Stiles nodded his head, spinning his glass around. Looking over at Derek who NOW looked like he was about to have a minor panic attack.

“That was the single most…just…you sang. For me. In front of people. In front of my important people. Who helped you arrange this by the sounds of it. You did…all this. Planned…ALL of this…for 7 months. Didn’t hint. Didn’t say anything. Why?”

Derek picked at the coaster in front of him.

“You sang here, a year ago, and made me think about something very personal. Very much about me. Very much about how I was acting and how I was treating you. In public. You made me understand something then and there.”

“And that was?”

“You. I love you. I need…you.”

Lydia smirked. Jackson rolled his eyes. Isaac snickered. Scott kept his opinion to himself for fear of losing brownie privileges. Jordan looked elsewhere and drank his beer. Allison became very fixated on her napkin. Erica smiled. And Boyd wiped away a tiny tear he was trying to hide.

Stiles sighed. Throwing his hands up in exasperation, he turned to Derek, grabbed his face in his hands and kissed him with a year’s worth of pent up frustration.

“What were you singing about a bedroom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was initially debating about writing a "Part 2" because as much as I loved how I ended it on "How Come You Don't Want Me," it felt a little incomplete. Stiles got to say his piece. Derek deserved to have his say. Then when I came across the Demi Lovato version of THIS song, the entire thing basically wrote itself and I knew I had to publish it. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> And please! Comment! I live for them.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be honest. That did NOT end the way I envisioned it. But it kept with the tone of the song and the realization that people were not being treated fairly at all by the person they cared about.


End file.
